Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Case Against "The Case Against Breastfeeding"

Yet another volley in the mommy wars…this time, the formula feeders strike back. *sigh* An opinion piece, “The Case Against Breastfeeding,” published in The Atlantic written by Hanna Roisin is the latest salvo. What is presented at the outset as a take down of the scientific studies that support the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding instead comes across as an angry diatribe from a woman who is trying to balance three kids, a marriage, and a career, and views the pressure to breastfeed as the one of the keys to her unhappiness. It seems to more about one woman’s insecurity in the choices she is making or would like to make and emotions she feels about those choices. Ms. Roisin, as it becomes clear, is not one of the mothers who enjoyed the breastfeeding experience. But rather than a) accepting that all of mothering is not enjoyable or b) choosing to formula feed instead, Ms. Roisin instead writes a factually and scientifically questionable article that seems intent on trying to reassure herself that if she were to switch to formula feeding, it would be ok.

Let me be upfront: I breastfed my older son until 22 months of age and I certainly plan to breastfeed my second son, who is due this summer. For me, breastfeeding wasn’t easy – my son was severely tongue-tied, which meant round-the-clock nursing until he was diagnosed and his tongue clipped at the age of 6 weeks. At that point, I did have to supplement him with formula for several weeks while I worked on rebuilding my milk supply – a process that meant nursing, followed by bottle-feeding, followed by pumping at every single feeding. It was exhausting and I could really understand why another mom in different circumstances would choose not to do it; I certainly would not have held it against another mother who chose to formula feed instead. We suffered through bouts of thrush, blocked ducts, and engorgement. When I went back to work, I lugged my detested pump with me and dutifully spent my breaks pumping. No, it was not all sunshine and roses. But I did it because on my personal hierarchy of parenting priorities, breastfeeding was high on the list. I put a lot of effort into making the breastfeeding relationship work, so please excuse me if I get just the tiniest bit irritated when Ms. Roisin comes along and likens breastfeeding to “the vacuum that was keeping me and my 21st-century sisters down.”

Ms. Roisin, breastfeeding did not keep me down. On the contrary, being able to work through the challenges of breastfeeding and being successful with it, sticking with it in spite of the looks I would get in public, and making it close to my goal of breastfeeding for 2 years was empowering for me. I’m not a perfect parent – I don’t do organic, I don’t cloth diaper, the tv is not forbidden in our house, and there are quite a few evenings when dinner is an overprocessed frozen pizza. I admit it freely: I actively make less than the ideal or best choice on more than the rare occasion – but I also own those choices and I don’t need to denigrate the choices of others in order to feel like a good parent. I’m not going to rail against the pro-fresh food lobby or try to poke holes in research that supports the premise that eating fresh and whole foods is healthier than eating frozen pizza. What would be the point? I might feel better about choosing the pizza, but it wouldn’t change the fact that the fresh and whole foods are healthier than the frozen pizza. I pick my battles based on what my values and priorities are. It’s part of being an adult and part of being a good parent. And I certainly don’t need the validation of someone like Ms. Roisin to feel good about that. Why she needs the validation of myself and the other "breast-feeding fascists" is beyond me.