Cripes! They found me!

By "they" I mean the formula companies. Since I did not have a baby registry with this pregnancy and did not birth at a hospital, I thought for sure that the formula companies would not know about my potential source of income for them, er, my bouncing baby boy. But wouldn't you know what showed up in the mail two days ago?

A formula sample kit from Enfamil.

And then today, a glossy "magazine" from Enfamil titled "Nourishing Dreams."

On the inside cover is an ad (well, the whole thing is an ad, but permit me to indulge the sham that the glossy is somehow a legitimate publication) touting Enfamil Premium as a way "you can do more to give him a solid foundation." Hey, Enfamil? You know what I am doing to give my son a solid foundation? I'm breastfeeding him.

On the first page, there is a short paragraph about the challenges of motherhood: "There are round-the-clock feedings, dozens of diaper changes, and a scarcity of sleep...we thought you could still use a little help." Dude, Enfamil is going to clean the house and make dinner for me?!?! No? They're just going to push formula? Oh, drat.

Several pages later is an "article" titled "Your Fuss-Free Guide to Supplementing." Some excerpts: "Why do so many moms supplement?" Ooh, ooh, I know!! I know!! Is it because formula companies have done a bang up job making breastfeeding seem unnecessary and supporting outdated ideas about breastfeeding? Not to mention, the fact that formula companies in the United States shower expecting and new moms with free formula and coupons during the first few critical weeks of breastfeeding in an effort to thwart breastfeeding success? "Supplementing gives you certain freedoms." Oh, drats, I guess I was wrong. "You can hand off feeding to Dad or Grandma, or go back to work without the hassle of pumping." Yeah, but then comes the hassle of trying to keep your milk supply up when baby is filling up on formula and doesn't want to nurse as much because the formula digests far more slowly than breastmilk. Of course, when your supply begins to drop because baby isn't nursing as often, rest assured, you can always buy him some more formula.

Next up: "A 60-Second Introduction to Formula." One benefit of formula feeding: "This way, Dad can get in on the act, too!" Because, you know, Dad couldn't get in on the act by changing diapers or playing with the baby at other times. One of the pieces of advice given here is "if adding a bottle here and there makes you a calmer, happier mom, that will benefit your baby too." You know what else generally makes for a calmer, happier mom? Valium. Maybe all new mothers should be prescribed Valium, as, hey, if it makes mom calmer and happier, it might benefit baby too!

Yeah.

So, how exactly did I get on the list to receive this wonderful publication and the generous samples of formula? Best I can figure, my information was sold to Enfamil when I went shopping at Motherhood Maternity for --- (wait for it) --- nursing bras.

There has to be some irony in that.

Brainwash, rinse, repeat?

I've tried not to write anything about the whole Obama-speech-to-American-schoolchildren thing. Really, I've tried to hold my tongue. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation, maybe it's my sheer amazement at the things I'm hearing and reading from parents who think Obama is out to brainwash their children, or probably a combination of the two, but I just can't keep quiet any longer.

Get real, people.

First of all, the man is a freaking politician, not a hypnotist. What exactly do you think he is going to do or say in 15-minute speech that will cause an entire generation of children to rise up and create a new socialist world order? I mean, honestly? I've seen video of mothers breaking down in tears over the thought of their precious offspring being forever warped by watching a 15-minute speech about education and the need to stay in school. I don't get it. I mean, if their kids are anything like them, they'll probably be sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming "I can't hear you" anyways, right?

Second, to those who don't want their kids seeing the speech without their parents being present: what kind of children are you raising? You do realize that in order to be a successful adult, you're supposed to have the ability to think for yourself, and this ability is not magically conferred upon you the second you turn 18 - you have to practice and hone this skill way ahead of time. Parents who feel the need to vet everything and anything their children come in contact with seem to be setting their kids up to live inside a plastic bubble, because heaven forbid the kids should hear or see something that differs from what mommy and daddy believe or think. What will happen to these kids when they go out into the big old world and have to deal with people who have different thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and backgrounds from their own? Is mom or dad going to be there day in and day out to protect them from ideas that might challenge their own? Are these parents screening each and every schoolmate and friend to make sure everyone believes the same things, has the same political leanings, and worships at the same locale? Because if you think a 15-minute speech by the President can cause little Susie to turn to the dark side, whoa, what about a 30-minute lunch with friends who aren't the same religion?

But you know what really gets me? The same parents who are upset right now about Obama "indoctrinating" their children tend to be the same parents who want prayer in public school and Creationism in the science books. These are the same parents who don't understand why people of other faiths - or those who have no faith - might take issue with that. If a 15-minute speech can lead to the downfall of everything Mom and Dad have tried to teach their children, what effect do you think having to listen to day after day, year after year, of Christian prayer might have on non-Christian children? Why is it ok to attempt to "indoctrinate" these other children? Or is indoctrination only ok when it's your beliefs that are being pushed?