A Quest Called Tribe

Sometimes, there are truths in your life that you don't acknowledge until they smack you straight in the fact. Or right in the gut. Today, I am acknowledging a painful truth that I have tried to ignore for the last few years: I don't have a tribe.

When I use the word "tribe," I don't mean one in the classic sense - I am ASIAN Indian, after all, not American Indian. What I mean is, I don't have a group of people with whom I truly and completely belong. Think the ladies on "Sex and the City" or the main characters on "Friends." I have good friends, true, but I don't have a real group of ladies (or men) that would surround me and support me in my hour of need. I recall having a tribe in the latter part of high school, during college, and even after I got married. It wasn't until our last move 3 years ago that I began to lack a tribe.

I can't really pinpoint why I haven't been able to find a tribe after this last move. I think a lot of it has to do with the phase of life I'm in, as much as the type of person I am. Previous tribes have coalesced around a commonality: in high school, it was being part of a club. In college, it was being an actor and, later, But one other commonality was being at the same stage in life. In high school, well, we were all teenagers trying to make it through to graduation and college. In college, we were all single kids trying to figure out the whole adulthood thing. After college, it was hanging out with a bunch of other newly marrieds. Since becoming a mom, however, while I have found it easy to make and find friends, I have found it hard to build a tribe - everyone just seems to be a different phases in their lives. Between balancing different kids and their personalities, husbands and their personalities, careers or homemaking, and sometimes such sheer location or distance, there just seem to be too many factors that seem to leave me the odd woman out. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the good friends I have, but I still yearn to find a tribe that truly belong to.

And so, I continue my quest. Here's hoping the search for my new tribe doesn't turn out like the quest for the Holy Grail.

About Modern Fairy Tales

Call me a curmudgeon. Call me a grinch. Call me a grouch. I really don't care, and I will be completely honest: I don't care one bit about Catherine Middleton's visit to the United States. There. I said it. Are you happy now? Maybe it says something about me, something about the kind of little girl I was or the adult that I am, but I don't care one bit about what Duchess Catherine is wearing, what city she is visiting, or who she is charming.

Yeah, yeah, I can hear it now: Oh, but she is such a great role model for little girls! It's a fairy tale come true!

Really? Really?

Neither Catherine Middleton, nor Prince William, nor really any of the royal family have actually done anything of real note. What has Catherine Middleton done, why is she famous? Oh, she married some guy who had the rare luck to be born to a guy whose distant ancestor somehow managed to become seated on the throne of England. Has this, oh, Prince Charming, done anything to earn the status or admiration that is lavished upon him? Are there any expectations that he (or she) will be able to significantly influence their country or their world? Nope, not really. Not a bad gig if you can get it, I suppose, but what exactly is there in this tale that would make Duchess Catherine a role model? Is there anything the slightest bit empowering about her tale of catching the heart of a man? I mean. on any given day, aren't thousands or millions of women in the world who manage to do that very same thing?

In my mind, there is little difference between gawking at the Royal family and watching "Jersey Shore." Both involve a group of people who have attained money, status, and fame for doing little else than converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. And maybe that is emblematic of what is wrong with society in general: rewarding people for what they have not and never will earn, while those who do the real work are left only with the scraps. And then they, in turn, continue to elevate those who have done nothing into positions of prestige.

Some fairy tale.

And yes, in case you were wondering, I did feel bad for poor old Rumplestiltskin. Dude should have gotten himself a lawyer and fought for workers rights...

Cleaning Out the Cobwebs...

It was a bad sign that I couldn't even remember the password for my blogspot account, but after several failed attempts, here I am, pulling out the proverbial broom to clean the cobwebs out of the corners and to start posting again. Bear with me while I get reacquainted with the blogger world...

In the year and a half (or so) since my last post, I've gotten some questions from people wondering why I wasn't posting anymore. Had I all of a sudden achieved serenity and there was nothing more for me to rage against the world about? Um, not so much. Honestly, it just came down to having two active children and a full-time job, with few, if any periods of time during which I could post a coherent thought.

Anyway, the children have gotten a little older and I have a little bit more time on my hands, so I promise to get back to posting a little more regularly.

Please pardon the dust.