A Quest Called Tribe

Sometimes, there are truths in your life that you don't acknowledge until they smack you straight in the fact. Or right in the gut. Today, I am acknowledging a painful truth that I have tried to ignore for the last few years: I don't have a tribe.

When I use the word "tribe," I don't mean one in the classic sense - I am ASIAN Indian, after all, not American Indian. What I mean is, I don't have a group of people with whom I truly and completely belong. Think the ladies on "Sex and the City" or the main characters on "Friends." I have good friends, true, but I don't have a real group of ladies (or men) that would surround me and support me in my hour of need. I recall having a tribe in the latter part of high school, during college, and even after I got married. It wasn't until our last move 3 years ago that I began to lack a tribe.

I can't really pinpoint why I haven't been able to find a tribe after this last move. I think a lot of it has to do with the phase of life I'm in, as much as the type of person I am. Previous tribes have coalesced around a commonality: in high school, it was being part of a club. In college, it was being an actor and, later, But one other commonality was being at the same stage in life. In high school, well, we were all teenagers trying to make it through to graduation and college. In college, we were all single kids trying to figure out the whole adulthood thing. After college, it was hanging out with a bunch of other newly marrieds. Since becoming a mom, however, while I have found it easy to make and find friends, I have found it hard to build a tribe - everyone just seems to be a different phases in their lives. Between balancing different kids and their personalities, husbands and their personalities, careers or homemaking, and sometimes such sheer location or distance, there just seem to be too many factors that seem to leave me the odd woman out. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the good friends I have, but I still yearn to find a tribe that truly belong to.

And so, I continue my quest. Here's hoping the search for my new tribe doesn't turn out like the quest for the Holy Grail.