And now, for more navelgazing

I have been going through a funk for the last week or so. Call it a mini early-mid-life crisis. Call it "my baby is now 2-years-old." Call it "I'm feeling my age just a bit." Call it what you will, but I have spent the time analyzing, re-analyzing, and overanalyzing the choices I have made since I turned 18. Let me tell you, analyzing the minutia of 15 years is exhausting! But, as I have come to the end of this process, I've realized that both luck and logic combined to make a pretty darn good path, on the whole, there's nothing much I would change. I have also realized, however, all the things I miss. The biggest thing I have found that I miss is the newness of life and exploration of the great big world - the sheer exhilaration of figuring out who you are and where you fit in the world. That's something that you don't really experience when you are 33, have been married for 12 years with two kids, and are well-settled in your job. It's funny, because I remember at the ages of 18 and 19, wishing that I knew where my life was going and wishing to be settled. Sure, I enjoyed myself at that age, but I was so driven and focused on my goals - finishing my undergrad, finishing my doctorate, getting licensed, having children - that at times, I lost sight of the moment and got lost in the future.

And here I am, with those goals accomplished, looking back on the past and missing that wonderment and laughing at myself for being such a cliche. I guess, though, it's never too late to stop and smell the roses.

*sniff*

I promise to be back to my ornery self soon enough.